I find myself standing in the warming light of the sun, on a cozy Sunday afternoon, wandering in my inner world as I often do…just to be distracted by the beauty of this present moment. I see the leaves falling on the ground as they turn into new shades of autumn colors, I hear the whisper of the wind, the murmur of the river, I totally zoned out the noise outside, the traffic, the neighbors, even the music, I feel the warm sunlight on my face and I can see my reflection in the window. I fell into this dreamy mood and as I admire the beauty of this moment I start asking myself “What does beauty mean to me?”.
“What does beauty mean to me?”
For a long time, I let myself be misdirected/misled/misguided by the outer world’s labels of beauty, body, love. There was this idea of perfection starting to grow inside my head: that smooth skin, thin body, curves, small clothing sizes, always good hair days like every day is a runway show or a competition with other women. Being so young and naive, I rapidly fell into this trap and soon started to fight with self-judgment, disappointment and started a negative self-talk that only got me into trouble. There was this need to belong, to be seen, to be loved.
So what does beauty mean? Is beauty a box of labels, of judgments & conditions or a number on a scale, a size? Is there beauty in struggle? Is this idea of beauty seen on social media, magazines, movies even real? Is there beauty in perfection?
Beauty comes from within. It comes the moment we give ourselves permission to be true, raw, to connect with the depth of our soul. The moment we become aware of ourselves that’s when the magic begins: healthy lifestyle choices, positive self-talk, respect for our body, acceptance & forgiveness of our past decisions.
When I started acknowledging my own life journey as beautiful, there was no more bad or good, no more extra kg, just my current weight, some stretch marks & skin imperfections, a few scars – on my body & deep into my soul, small boobs and a bumpy, yet wonderful health/life journey.
And healing never felt so simple & reachable, real & magical. Sometimes you have to surrender in order to come back stronger, happier, more authentic.
Even though it took me a while to get here, in this state of mind I can truly say that I love myself, I love my body, every part of it, every scar, every imperfection, my eyes, my hair, my stretch marks. Everything about my body is beautiful and now I can see it. This journey full of highs&lows, bumps in the road, though bridges to cross, mountains to climb only taught me how to become stronger, yet full of compassion, to accept life as it is, to let things go & move on, to cherish every moment & all the little things, to nourish my body, to feed my mind & soul with kindness, to connect with my feminine energy and embrace growing up and finally becoming this strong, independent, beautiful woman that I am today.
I can’t go back in time and not go through all this chapter of struggles, insecurities and limitations. But instead I choose to forgive myself completely and start loving myself with an unconditional heart, mind & soul. I let myself sink in gratitude every day for being alive, for my life, for my body, for all the magic around me.
So, as I enjoy this moment of bliss & silence, on this sunny autumn afternoon, I can feel that the answer to my question lies deep down into my soul and I see that beauty is in every cell of my body, in my skin, in my bones, it runs through my veins and helps my body bloom; there is beauty in my eyes, in every smile I put on my face, in my messy hair and especially in my ‘flaws’. It is time for us, women to redefine what beauty means to ourselves and let go of that unreal desire and need to become perfect, to be seen, heard or loved by the outer world because that is our duty. It is time for us to embrace our feminine power and fall in love with our bodies, our souls and minds.
To all the beautiful souls out there that are struggling with self-doubt and self-judgment, with body image or a broken heart, I say: I see you! I feel you!
The time for you to sink into unconditional love is here, I dare you to be curious, to discover yourself, to smile more & to let yourself shine from within! Unconditional is the new perfect!
It’s a beautiful day to start loving yourself!